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HOLIDAY FRUITCAKE RECIPE
1 C WATER
1 C SUGAR
4 LARGE EGGS
3 C DRIED FRUIT
1 t. BAKING SODA
1 t SALT
1 C BROWN SUGAR
LEMON JUICE, NUTS
1 FULL BOTTLE OF YOUR FAVORITE WHISKEY
SAMPLE THE WHISKEY TO CHECK FOR QUALITY.
TAKE OUT A LARGE BOWL.
CHECK THE WHISKEY AGAIN TO BE SURE THAT IT IS OF THE HIGHEST QUALITY.
POUR 1 LEVEL CUP AND DRINK, REPEAT.
TURN ON THE ELECTRIC MIXER; BEAT 1 C OF BUTTER IN A LARGE FLUFFY BOWL.
ADD 1 t. SUGAR AND BEAT AGAIN
MAKE SURE THE WHISKEY IS STILL OK.
CRY ANOTHER CUP. TURN OFF THE MIXER.
BREAK TWO GEGGS AND ADD THE BOWL AND CHUCK IN THE CUP OF DRIED FRUIT.
MIX ON THE BURNER.
IF THE FRIED FRUIT GETS STUCK IN THE BEATERS,
PRY IT LOOSE WITH A SCREWDRIVER.
SAMPLE THE WHISKEY TO CHECK FOR TOXISISTICITY.
NEXT, SIFT 2 CUPS OF SALT.
OR SOMETHING. WHO CARS? CHECK THE WHISKEY.
NOW SIFT THE LEMON JUICE AND STRAIN YOUR NUTS.
ADD ONT T. OF SUGAR OR SOMETHING...WHATEVER YOU CAN FIND.
GREASE THE OVEN. TURN ON THE CAKE TIN TO 350 DEGREES.
DON'T FORGET TO BEAT OFF THE TURNER. THROW THE BOWL OUT OF THE WINDOW.
CHECK THE WHISKEY AGAIN. GO TO BED.
WHO THE HELL LIKES FRUIT CAKE ANYWAY???
HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!!!!
This was sent to me by a friend today......and I had tears running down my cheeks by the time I finished.....Hope you find it funny as well :)
This was sent to me by a friend today......and I had tears running down my cheeks by the time I finished.....Hope you find it funny as well :)
2 comments:
Very few people like fruitcake, but what a funny recipe. I was laughing too.
That is hysterical. Thanks for the laugh; it was better than fruitcake.
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